Change Management Isn’t a Buzzword—It’s the Hardest Part of the Job

I almost didn't write this article because I'm so over this topic. “Change management” has become a throwaway term, and change management consultants are dime a dozen. But most of the time, nobody actually knows what it means or worse, they assume it just means sending a few emails and scheduling training.

But real change, the kind that matters, is messy. It’s emotional. It’s slow. It challenges identity, rewrites habits, and creates uncertainty. And no PowerPoint deck or kickoff memo can fix that.

After years of leading and observing transformations across industries, I’ve come to believe that successful change isn’t about managing a rollout. It’s about navigating a relationship with the people who have to live through the change.

This essay follows naturally from the Talent Attrition in M&A discussion. Even if you retain the right people, the founders, the glue employees, the stars, keeping them engaged requires more than contracts or incentives. It requires guiding them through disruption in a way that feels fair, respectful, and inclusive. That’s what real change management is supposed to be about.

Why Most Change Fails

Most change efforts follow a painfully familiar pattern:

1. Leadership defines the change.

2. It gets announced.

3. Someone creates a training calendar.

4. Everyone waits for adoption.

5. When it doesn’t happen, they call it “resistance.”

But people don’t resist change blindly. They resist:- Losing control; Losing relevance; Losing identity; Being left out of the conversation.

Most resistance is not irrational, it’s predictable. And it’s often a reaction to poor planning, poor listening, and poor execution.

A Better Way: The Amalgamated Approach

Real change—the kind that sticks—happens when people are part of building it. I call this the amalgamated approach because it isn’t about forcing change or preserving the past. It’s about blending the old with the new to create something stronger.

It’s not soft. It’s not academic. It’s practical. And it works.

1. Listen First—Before You Act

If you start with a decision, you’ve already lost people. Start with listening.

Ask:- What are people afraid of losing?- What do they think already works well?- What will break if we change too fast?

Example: I’ve seen tech rollouts stall not because the system was bad, but because long-time employees were scared they’d look incompetent in front of their teams. No amount of training could fix that. Only listening—and addressing the fear—moved the needle.

2. Understand the Legacy Before You Dismantle It

Every legacy process, no matter how inefficient, exists for a reason. Usually it solved a problem that still matters.

Before you throw it out, ask:- Why was it created?- What need does it serve?- Who relies on it informally?

Understanding the current state is how you avoid creating new problems while solving old ones.

3. Reflect: What Stays, What Goes

This is the core of the amalgamated mindset: don’t bulldoze the old, don’t preserve it blindly—choose intentionally.

Ask:- What are the cultural or operational anchors we should keep?- What needs to change?- What does a combined, better version look like?

4. Co-Create the Future

This is where most leaders get nervous. Co-creation doesn’t mean giving up control. It means giving people a voice.

·      Let teams test ideas.

·      Let frontline staff shape workflows.

·      Ask people to define what “good” looks like in the new system.

When people help build the future, they’re more likely to own it—and defend it.

Where This Works

This isn’t theory. I’ve used this approach in:- M&A integrations where blending cultures mattered more than blending tech stacks.- ERP and tech rollouts where the biggest hurdle was emotional, not technical.- Operating model redesigns where tribal knowledge made or broke execution.- Leadership transitions where new leaders earned trust by listening before acting.

What Most Leaders Miss

Even with good intentions, change fails when leaders: - Rush the process—culture and behavior don’t change on project timelines.- Misread resistance—sometimes it’s a signal, sometimes a symptom. Either way, it’s valuable data.- Ignore informal influence—change lives or dies with people who carry trust, not just titles.- Confuse communication with engagement—an email blast isn’t change management. Neither is a town hall. People don’t just want to be informed. They want to be involved.

Final Thought: Change Is a Human Transition, Not a Project Plan

Change that matters will always be uncomfortable. It will always be slower than you want. But that’s because you’re not changing systems, you’re changing people. And people need time, clarity, and trust. If you want real change, don’t manage it. Lead it. With humility, with empathy, and with the willingness to listen before acting.

Because change is not a rollout. It’s a relationship. And the only kind that lasts is the one you build together. Which leaves us with one final provocation for this series: across culture, structure, founder retention, and talent, we’ve been talking about integration. But maybe the bigger question is, should integration even be the goal? Or is the real opportunity in building something entirely new, something neither company could have created on its own?